So, in V for Vendetta, an absolutely fantastic introduction is delivered, possibly the best example of alliterations. However, to the layman or to the apathetic individuals, it is an earful listening to a minute long rant of big words by a masked man.
So, as a humble member of the large group of people who neither won the spelling bee nor won the Oxford dictionary contest; I have sought to translate the monologue into common language. Enjoy.
Evey: Who are you?
V. : Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask. –> Translation: I’m the guy in the mask… jeez!
Evey: Well I can see that. –> Translation: duhh…
V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. –> Translation: I know you’re not blind. I’m just pointing out your stupidity in asking a masked man who he is…
Evey: Oh, right. –> Translation: Cool story bro…
V. : But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. –> Translation: But… I’m going to tell you my life story, simply because I can.
Voila! –> Translation: CHECK ME OUT (flourish)
In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. Translation: Lady, I may look like the evil guy to those whose asses I whooped earlier
This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. –> Translation: I’m not just some weird guy wearing a pretty damn cool mask. I’m the face of freedom, which btw is totally screwed atm.
However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. – Translation: However, I’m not only resembling some dead dude. I’m actually really excited! I totes plan to kill some evil people. some really evil people. Some seriously evil political people.
*insert deliberate dramatic pause*
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, –> Translation: Revenge = vendetta
Held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. – Translation: I’ll do it for everyone, not just my own awesomeness but for the good of the people!
*insert creepy LOL*
Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V. –> Translation: Just so you know, I don’t always talk like this, I’m just trying to impress you 😉 So in words which your ignorant brain can understand, it’s my honour to meet someone as hot as you and now we are on first name basis.
Evey: Are you like a crazy person?
V. : I’m quite sure they will say so. –> Translation: Not the first time I’ve been asked that…
Lesson learned: big words aren’t always necessary to convey simple death threats and introductions… *phew*