Vanquishing Verbosity

So, in V for Vendetta, an absolutely fantastic introduction is delivered, possibly the best example of alliterations. However, to the layman or to the apathetic individuals, it is an earful listening to a minute long rant of big words by a masked man.

A quick introduction? think again

So, as a humble member of the large group of people who neither won the spelling bee nor won the Oxford dictionary contest; I have sought to translate the monologue into common language. Enjoy.

Evey: Who are you?
V. : Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.  –> Translation: I’m the guy in the mask… jeez! 

Evey: Well I can see that.  –> Translation:  duhh… 
V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is. –>  Translation: I know you’re not blind. I’m just pointing out your stupidity in asking a masked man who he is… 

Evey: Oh, right. –> Translation: Cool story bro… 
V. : But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. –> Translation: But… I’m going to tell you my life story, simply because I can.    

Voila! –> Translation: CHECK ME OUT (flourish)    

check me out!

In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. Translation:  Lady, I may look like the evil guy to those whose asses I whooped earlier

This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. –> Translation: I’m not just some weird guy wearing a pretty damn cool mask. I’m the face of freedom, which btw is totally screwed atm.    

However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. – Translation:  However, I’m not only resembling some dead dude. I’m actually really excited! I totes plan to kill some evil people. some really evil people. Some seriously evil political people. 

*insert deliberate dramatic pause*
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, –> Translation: Revenge = vendetta    

Held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. – Translation: I’ll do it for everyone, not just my own awesomeness but for the good of the people!

*insert creepy LOL*
Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V. –> Translation: Just so you know, I don’t always talk like this, I’m just trying to impress you 😉 So in words which your ignorant brain can understand, it’s my honour to meet someone as hot as you and now we are on first name basis. 

about time ?

Evey: Are you like a crazy person?
V. : I’m quite sure they will say so. –> Translation: Not the first time I’ve been asked that… 

Lesson learned: big words aren’t always necessary to convey simple death threats and introductions… *phew*

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One comment on “Vanquishing Verbosity

  1. lol! move over sparknotes, there’s a new literary genius in town! 🙂

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