The 14th of February

So Valentines Day is tomorrow, and all I’ve seen are people hating on the holiday and professing how they shall be #foreveralone on twitter. Surely this must mean that Valentines Day should be removed from the international calendar?

calm down!

Anyway; I am apathetic towards valentines day. Neither do I see it as a day to go out of my way to express my love (or temporary affection) nor do I see it as a waste of a day. I hold valentines day in the same regard as a comedy film that attempts to be romantic. I believe it’s terrible to be overly affected by such a day when you can instead chuckle in amusement as girls reject an array of potential suitors whose ideas do not encompass any level of thought or originality but instead, include a rose (insert thoughts of wilting) and a chocolate (insert female insecurity at weight gain).

Furthermore, if we examine the cinematic offerings on valentines day, Bollywood has served up a nightmare this year with a tale in which the ending is far from romantic and instead will result in an immediate breakup.

Hollywood has fared slightly better, with an amnesia-suffering Rachel Mcadams starring “The Vow.”

I do feel sorry for the restaurants of the world as they don’t know whether to encourage Valentine behaviour or ignore it completely.

However, my apathy for valentines day gives way to an avid interest when I turn my geek on and notice how valentines day spurns the economic trends of a boring February and gives several economies a much needed boost. Of course, this again is credited to a desire for both genders to wear horrible colours such as pink and red, buy large arrangements of flowers and to lavish gifts upon each other in hopes of ensuring the bedroom time, either at a hotel or home, does not go to waste…

excuse me while I throw up...

To those who are alone this valentines day, take it as a blessing in disguise. You don’t need to visit shops to buy your perfect valentines outfit, nor do you need to visit the hairdressers to groom yourself. Best of all, you can have that ice cream tub all to yourself and pass it off as Valentine Blues and not have to whine about your weight.

Imagine a body builder wearing that... okay stop laughing.

I am apathetic towards Valentines Day. It’s a day in which many couples coagulate giving way to a whole generation of valentine babies that live their life constantly being ridiculed. However, Valentines Day is comedic and come tomorrow, I shall chuckle at the man in his red trousers and the woman at the coffee shop completely available for flirtation in order to avoid giving in to the fact that she only has a future with 2 cats and a rocking chair.

Happy Valentines Day world and here’s a tip. Don’t give roses and then play “I will always Love you” Whitney’s gone, don’t let your relationship go down the same path too…